Look, I get it. I never write here anymore. I should. Not for anyone reading it (though I do appreciate it), but for me. I like getting my thoughts out in text in the now and having a bit of a historical record of the day. I'm pretty good about getting race reports out, especially if everything went to plan. It is when things don't go to plan I retreat into a hole and this (along with my social media) goes dark.
This summer I had a pretty big blowup and I've thrown a few things out here and there about it but never really said much about it. Mainly because there was an independent film made about it (more on that another time) and I didn't want to "spoil the surprise." Of course those who know me or follow me on social media knows the outcome. I've never really let on my how disappointed I was with this whole failure. It sucked bad. I went after my biggest adventure to date of trying to cross the state of Oregon on the PCT in under 8 days and couldn't make it. I dropped with an injury, not because my head wouldn't let me. While we cant always control injuries I probably didn't do enough to prepare properly. That slow grind run/hike got to me. Extra weight in my pack got to me. Hardly any downtime between huge efforts got to me. I think.....
And thus the crux of all of these pursuits are exposed for what they are, giant unknowns. These things are so big and so out of the norm we can't pin down exactly anything. We only know the outcome. My outcome was not what I wanted, but I've accepted it and I'll seek redemption.
Redemption will not be 1:1 this go around, but the thought of what could have been will be present a lot. I'm running Mountain Lakes 100 this weekend. Most of it on the Oregon PCT and all sections I didn't get to during the PCT crossing because I dropped. So here we go, another year, another 100 miler. Time to keep the streak alive.